Spongy Coral
2011
Stanzas I 86ed from another poem, What do you think?
I took this from a poem I had written earlier, and decided to shorten, these stanzas, I think stand well alone, and they are absent from the revised version of the poem. Thanks for any suggestions.
You watch with unseeing eyes
The lives of civil men, begin to sink.
You taste the false hope of life
The flavor is sour, yet you continue to drink
You live as a cat does.
Lazy lives full of milk to swallow.
Your tail is only a longer end
Baiting the world to follow
This world belongs to you and your crook
You are a shepherd among the blinded sheep
You lead us to expensive graves
And we are well clothed in our eternal sleep.
You have brought the unjust death
Of values and unmolested morals
This battlefield is your doing
Painted with liquid crimsons and spongy corals
This poem is freaking everywhere. It is hard to read such short stanza’s about different animals, and your abstract terminology doesn’t cohere as well as it should. I felt like you had rammed three poems together, after noticing a semi-resemblance. It is simply too sinuous.
Spongy coral
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